You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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