I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
