who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
