pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
