is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
