Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
