didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
