Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Randomize
