just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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