We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
