3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
