that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
