Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
