is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize