Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
