The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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