this beer tastes like vomit already
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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