I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
