I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize