I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
