well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
