I want to stick my p in your. b.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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