i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
