does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
