every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Pants are for mortals
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
