im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
