We're like a lot better than the average bears
wrigley field is MILF paradise
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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