Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
