those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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