I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Randomize
