Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He is an equal opportunity slut.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
