Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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