try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
