i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
