I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
