new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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