I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize