You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
