I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
