Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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