why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
