And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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