Ambien. No doubt about it.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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