were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
