she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
not ubering you a puppy
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
