My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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