I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
