MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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