My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize