we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
