how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
