So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
