Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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