addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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