At least make sure they are 18
Why
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize