Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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