walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize