I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
