this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
