Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
